Thursday, July 22, 2010

I feel disconnected to everything but a computer

Is technology ruining our ability to have meaningful one on one time with people we love? I say hell yes. Just look around you when you walk down the street, everyone is busy staring at their phones or texting and actually walking right into you. I sit here typing away on my blog and I feel lonely doing it. I don't think most of my friends read my blog and for those that have thanks but the point is that I am sitting at my desk typing about how I feel about life. Not talking to someone, connecting to them watching their facial expression and lauging with them about it. I am having a relationship with a machine! It really bothers me when friends of mine opt to text all the time instead of call and I have been guilty of it too. I have texted or emailed when I had to get a lot done in a hurry. But is that meaningful communication. Do you ever sit around and reminsce about the most romantic email or text you got? No, because its impersonal and cold and often messages are misunderstoon or misconstrued in this way. We are social creatures who depend on love and communication and time with one another face to face, experiencing the ups and downs of life together. Life is not facebook!! I talk to some of my friends only on facebook, that is not how I would like it to be. I want to see them and go out with them - real life time with them. Reading A New Earth really "woke me up" to appreciate the present moment and enjoy life and what is happening right now. But as I thought about the lessons learned from it, i realize that we are "unconscious" in our dependancy and addiction to technology and it can be just as descructive and harmful!!
For the past week or so, we have been waiting for our thrid adapter to come in the mail so we have been unable to use the internet at home. As much as it drove me crazy when i needed it for directions when I was lost (see previous post) I know that I don't need to be playing on Facebook or writing emails to people I could call or spend time with. I am not just complaining about everyone else either. I use technology and depend on it and am addicted to it too! I freaking met my husband online!! So I thank technology for that way of connecting to the world, but I need to pause and reflect on what is happening to US ALL, what is happening to the world. I feel sometimes so empty after spending 8 long hours typing away in a cubicle - closed off from others - I feel like a robot, I don't feel fulfilled and happy after spending some much time on computers at all, i feel tired, sad and I want to see people I love and laugh with them and hear them laugh and physically see them laugh and feel them laugh with me. That is joy!!! Let us not forget how to have normal, healthy social skills to build healthy, joy producing relationships!!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Earthquake and other shaky events

So I haven't posted in awhile since my recent anger rants about weight issues and ignorance and hate in the world. I am still struggling everyday to lose the remaining 15 pounds. I feel frustrated but i know I have to remain patient and keep eating the right things and keep working out. This past week was a dousy to say the least!! On Tuesday I was on my way to work and they had blocked off East West Highway which is the street I work on. So I tried to take the necessary detour and not get lost which I promptly did. I hate being lost driving. I freaking HATE it. I need a GPS and have been meaning to get one but just have put it off on one of my never ending list of things I need to buy. So there I am lost in a Bethesda-Chevy Chase neighborhood very close to the neighborhood where my grandparents lived on 32nd Street. So I SHOULD HAVE known where I was but I didn't and I was pissed and tired and so I called my husband, who couldn't help me because we don't have use of our internet service right now because we are waiting for the THRID adapter that has just stopped working. Stupid Dells. Another thing I need to buy - a new Laptop, see how the expenses are piling up? So he can't help me and while I am telling him I don't know how I will make it to work, I finally find my way back to Conneticut Ave. so I think I am in the clear. But of course wrong again because now I am so far away I am headed toward DC. I have to make a dangerous and illegal u-turn and go all the way back to the "circle of death" aka Chevy Chase circle, so about 20 minutes later I am back at East West Highway and I make the right turn just to find yet another cop car blocking the way. So I am at my wits end, I proceed to end up at the original road block after getting VERY LOST again and decide to throw in the towel and head back to Silver Spring. I would have been to work at 7:30 and now it is after 9:00. I go to a parking garage to take the Metro, which would have taken me another hour because you have to take the train all the way through DC to end up in Bethesda (so stupid I might add)! So I decide this is not a good choice and head home. I am at a stop light and I am rear ended by a car, who was rear ended by someone else. GREAT! Just what I freaking need right now an accident. Thank God my car was fine and I was okay but I did have some neck pain that I didn't need for the next few days. Which leads me to the next eventful day which was Friday morning. Joe and I wake up at 5:04 am to our entire house shaking violently and the sound of something roaring like a giant thunder monster outside. Joe leaps naked out of bed and pulls back the curtains and shade to see if there was something in our parking lot. We were so freaked out we thought it was an earthquake but we were like there is no way. We don't have earthquakes in MD! Well I guess we do! It has been rough lately with all that freaking snow (global warming and end of the world feeling), the extreme non-stop oppressive heat (global warming and feeling like I am dying daily of heat stroke) and now an earthquake. Yes, we know Californians, it was only 3.6 but to us that is the apocalypse because we don't have to suffer much natural diasters or intense storms, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornados, or other life threatening events. We are very lucky to live in an area that is pretty safe in terms of these scary disasters. Our neighbor informed us that we live right above the fault line. GREAT, something I didn't know, probably because I didn't think it was something to be concerned about. Listen people we are getting closer and closer to 2012. I know some of you may be rolling your eyes and thinking oh man, Joyce is all doom and gloom, but I am not. I don't want to believe the ancient Mayans knew when the Apolcalypse was coming, but maybe they did, maybe some aliens came down out of the sky and told them about it and when to end their trusty calendars. All I can do is observe what is going on around me and its pretty freaky and not that good!!
In other news, we also found a huge hornets nest on our deck which we had to pay an exterminator to come out and get rid of and Joe got poision ivy trying to clear the weeds and crazy jungle vines encroaching on our tiny backyard.
So here is a prayer for better days for the rest of the summer and to a safe and happy future 2012 and to INFINITY and BEYOND like Buzz lightyear! :)