Tuesday, September 28, 2010

more crazy pictures..

photo memories

Stink bugs and other pesky disturbances!

Ok so this post is going to be funny and an angry rant all wrapped up into one! My lovely husband and I have been battling the stink bugs in our hous for some time, but this weekend we realized how severe the problem had become. We were getting ready to go to my friend's birthday celebration and I told Joe that there were some in the bedroom and to do the usual "curtain check". My husband has a sly method of letting them crawl onto an envelope and then he runs downstairs and tosses them out the front door. This can prove to be time consuming because this f-ers fly and so you have to be cunning and swift with your disposal methods. Well, I told him to take the curtains off the hooks and when he did this, he got a better look at the window which showed that 20-30 of them had set up camp in between our inner and outer bedroom window just waiting to get in. We know you aren't supposed to swish the f-ers cause they will release the stink so we were trying to get them out without smushing them. So I proceed to go downstairs and get on the internet and try to find a good way to get them out, mean while my husband is still frantically running up and down the stairs taking one out at a time. Finally I ran up and brought many food containers so that he could trap many at a time and then throw them outside. Then I suggest we get the vacuum cleaner and suck them up into oblivion and he thought that was a great idea, so while he is upstairs I read on the internet, "do NOT vacuum them or they will release the stink" So I scream STOP!! NOOO STOP!! STOP SHUT IT OFF!! But my husband can't hear me over the Hoover so I have to run up the stairs flailing and screaming...Whew! What a freaking mess, so now we still have a few that we think are getting in but most of them are gone..Usually its the constant battle against the spiders which is always so horrible and terrifying, who knew but at our house its always an adventure in the wild jungle woods of Columbia.

And to add to my rant, my stupid neighbor that I have complained of before drove me to the breaking point last night. She is CONSTANTLY on her cell phone. She talks on it incessantly - I have rarely seen her NOT on it and we can hear her talking on the phone when she is at home, ALL THE TIME!! Which sucks because we were so happy to finally move into a house, no one above us, no one under us, but we knew that we mught still be able to hear our neighbors through the tinder box walls. Well, we can, but the worst is when she is outside on the phone. During these last few weeks when it has been much cooler out, she has taken up the habit of talking on the phone outside at 2AM!!! This is because she works at night (nurse). So last night's sleep was again disturbed by her constant rambling and blabbing and I really need to know....WHO IS SHE TALKING TO?? And how are they always available to talk for hours and hours and do they also work at night because they have to be able to talk all night long while she is keeping me AWAKE!!! And there are so many other things about this person, she never cleans up the trash in her yard, for about a week or more there have been like 12 cigarette butts on her walk way and she never cleans it up! EVER!! DISGUSTING!! And listen people, I used to be a smoker so I understand, but I am not a smoker anymore and when she smokes inside her house it makes its way through our water heater closet into our house and I can't stand that either. So this all just adds to my strong need to buy a house and move again for the 4th billionth time. Lord, help me!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Where is the Jetson World??

A good friend suggested I write this post, the other day i was making a joke about the tiresome battle of traffic and getting to and from work everyday. I know people might suggest that I move closer to my job, but there are a million reason I can't do that. I just started this job about 6 months ago. I work in Bethesda and my husband works in Hunt Valley. Two cities very far from one another so we live in the middle and I love Columbia. It has the stores and restaurants I want, the beautiful gorgeous lakes, the paths through woods, 23 different public swimming pools, tennis courts, Putt Putt, you name it and the Columbia Association has put it in the community. So for now, I have to face this treacherous commute and all the frustrations, near death experiences, rage and raised blood pressure that it brings! But as I was emailing with said good friend, I pointed out that as a child of the 80s and watching the Jetsons, I was lead to believe that this is what the future would look like!! Other movies also led us to think we would live in some sort of fascinating, high powered technological super-city with FLYING CARS or even maybe flying skateboards or at least a damn jet pack!! In the movie the Fifth Element, this was shown quite clearly - there were flying cars everywhere, I won't even go as far as Star Wars and all of that futuristic insanity. Back to the Jetsons, I need a robot maid like Rosie to take care of my house while I am at work and I would like to go in a tube to work (is that what happened??), well anyway like I said, I am not asking for the impossible like "teleporting" from Star Trek, even though that would be the most convienent. I just want what I thought was coming in the future. I need to fly above these people who cause me so much angst and fury every day. And it would be fun to fly around, after getting to work maybe I could take a break and fly on over to the Starbucks in the sky or fly on over to Subway in the sky for lunch. Come on all you smarty pants engineers and techy freaks, lets get to work and take us into a very time efficient and exciting and lets not forget FUN FUTURE!!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Hilarious Cooking Disasters and other not so welcome visitors!

Ok so the plan was to just cook a simple meatloaf. The receipe was titled, "EASY NO FAIL MEATLOAF" in fact! So it was Sunday and I go down and ask my husband, who is completely distracted by football ( big sigh) to help me prepare this "easy" dinner. Now, let me start by saying that we do not cook and we aren't skilled in any way or good at it, HOWEVER, I have made meatloaf many times and it turned out fine. But this was supposed to be really tasty, so I thought I would give it a try. I told Joe over and over that i didn't have enough meat, the receipe called for a pound and a half but I only had a little over a pound. So (out loud) I kept saying that we better compensate the rest of the ingredients but as soon as I said that it was forgotten. I started on the most dreaded ingredient, chopping the onion. Let me pause again to mention the fact that my husband hates onions but I reassured him that it would taste really good! Joe and I like watching Master Chef and one of the first elimination rounds was how fast and accurate they were able to chop an onion. Well Ramsey would have turned purple screaming at me and dropping repeated F bombs if he had seen the way I butchered this onion. I used a huge knife and tried to get the pieces as small as I could. Well that wasn't very good because they were big honking pieces people!! And this damn onion made me cry, it stung and if you are wielding a giant knife, you probably shouldn't be welling up with tears when you are chopping, but I didn't cut myself with the knife...oh no...THAT would make sense! So after that tragic scene, I threw in the egg, breadcrumbs and grabbed the box of brown sugar to open it. I don't know how I did this but my right hand slipped and I SLICED my right palm wide open on that little damn cardboard box. So now I am screaming and jumping around and I keep yelling, "Its swelling" Joe runs upstairs and gets a huge gauze pad and the medical tape and wraps my hand up. Then I keep stressing how much I need ice on the SWELLING! Oh boy, so now I am injured, injured bad and of course don't have full use of my hand, the important one. So I proceed to frantically yell at Joe to form this monstrouscity into a loaf and then as we are cracking up I tell him there are faaarrr too many onions. So he starts picking a couple hundred CHUNKS of onion out and throwing them in the trash. I smear the top with the delcious ketchup brown sugar mix and toss it in the oven. I look over in total exasperation at my frazzled husband and tell him that it is probably not going to be edible. And when we pulled it out an hour later, it was indeed a foul ONION LOAF!! What a debacle! As I often say, " I was apaulled at this atrocity!" The loaf couldn't even stay together because it had so many nasty GIANT bunches of onions rolling out of everywhere. Needless to say this is when we called Pizza Hut.

The second half of this post is dedicated to my lil friend the spider. Please leave me alone, lil friends. You haunt me around every corner. Yesterday I was eating lunch at my desk and one crawled out and everyone is so lucky I didn't jump up screaming loudly. Then later last night I was sitting on our couch and I let out my scared noise " AAANNNNNHHHHHHH!!" Joe jumped back in horror cause he didn't know why I was staring at nothing and getting scared. This time it was a freaky little white/yellowish spider that was coming down from the ceiling in my FACE!! This is a common occurence in our house in the woods unfortunately. I know Halloween is approaching, but spiders, enough, please we can't take it anymore!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

What a year this has been!

So as I sit here today, on the eve of my one year anniversary, I have to remember where I was this time last year and how many incredibly dramatic changes and events have happened this past year. This time last year I was in sunny, beautiful and romantic paradise otherwise known as Oahu, Hawaii. Joe and I had a great time. The island was gorgeous, our hotel was lovely, everyone was so helpful and nice. We couldn't have asked for a better wedding day. We had a great dinner at our hotel (the only night we could afford to eat there!) and Joe kept declaring it was the best meal he had ever eaten. There were some funny occurances like how Joe's bathing suit flew off of our balcony and down to another one and the staff was so nice to go and retrieve it for him. I managed to not get burnt on any other day except the wedding day where I didn't think about lathering up in my usual bath of 70 SPF and ended up a lobster for the remaining days. The most wonderful part for me was the water. The clear, blue and inviting water that I could stay in for HOURS! But most people don't know that I was DEATHLY ill the night before the wedding. I don't know if it was something I had eaten that day or if it was my digestive system on the fritz (traveling can be very hard on me if you know what I mean) but I was so sick and completely panic stricken that I would end up not making it to the ceremony the next day. Joe was worried sick, but I just slept it off and was fine by the morning. Thank you God. Thank you God for all my blessings this year. I went through one of the scariest, most anxious and depressing times in my life when I decided to leave Grad school and go back to work. I didn't know when or if I was going to find a new job. Thanks for this one. I really love the people here and that makes a world of difference. I survived an earthquake, a thunderstorm (much more like a hurricane) from hell that I was sure was going to take me out, countless other storms and power outages that caused me to take my life in my hands going through numerous intersections with no working lights, moving AGAIN for the 400th time. Thanks God for keeping me alive and half way sane. And last but NEVER least, I thank you for my husband and my best friend. I know that I am FAR from perfect and I mess up sometimes. You gave me the most loving, forgiving, sweet and funny guy. And he is truly an extension of myself, I can't imagine living life without him at my side. Yes, its that good. I love you baby with all my heart and I am so excited to share the rest of my life with you. I am so looking forward to the hammock on our balcony at our room at the bed and breakfast and looking out at the ocean and being able to just relax with you for a little while. Your love is allowing me to grow and change into the person I have always dreamed I wanted to be. And you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. Happy One Year and first of many, Anniversary my love.