Day 13 - Letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Instead of writing about someone who "hurt" me, I am going to write about someone who "pissed me off really bad". There is a new person in my office. At first I didn't think much of her she kept to herself and I didn't really know what to think. Then she started asking me to help her with her cases out of the blue. So I did my best to help her understand how our job works which is not easy to explain AT ALL, every case is different and the law concerning our cases is complex and took me weeks and months to understand. I only been there for about 6 months, and I kept telling her that I was not the best person to be teaching her the job because I am still learning myself. She ignored and DIDN'T LISTEN when I said this, so she kept coming to my desk day after day and asking for my help. During one of these days, she referred to me as "Joy" right to my face while talking to my boss. My name isn't Joy, its Joyce, get it right. Then one morning she comes over to my desk, first thing in the morning when I had just gotten there and says in a very forward, pushy, "I'm in charge" kind of way, "Ok I have two questions, one is about your art and the other is about work" I was tired and didn't feel like hearing her request for me to draw something that I didn't want to do so I cut her off and immediately said, as I am turning red because I am uncomfortable and put on the spot and now I am going to s to say something she doesn't want to hear, "I don't draw for other people's requests because it never turns out the way I want it to, so I always tell people no, sorry." I could tell she was very disappointed that she was not going to get her way and then she "went there" and said what she shouldn't have said. She says, "Well I just think that is a shame because you are going to let your gift DIE like that" I was enraged, but I took a deep breath and said, "Its not DYING because I can choose to use it whenever I want" and I gave her examples of when I had drawn for friends and how it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to and I ended up doing 20 to 30 sketches. This woman probably didn't realize how angry she had made me. What I wanted to say to her was: "You don't even know me at all yet and you want to ask me to draw for you? Why would you say something so rude to an artist? You are just mad because obviously you want to use me to do something for you and its NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!" ( I guess that is my letter to her that I will never send)
After this incident, she continued to ask for my help. But she would come to my desk and say, I am going to need your help later is that ok? And she would do that over and over. So I had two days off at the end of that week and I emailed her and told her I would be out of the office and that she should ask other more experienced co-workers to help her with her cases.
Also, let me point out again that when I would help her she wouldn't listen to me and would act distracted and impatient, which pissed me off even more.
She responded to the email by saying, "You have been doing a fantastic job of helping me"
this further enraged me because AGAIN she wasn't listening to what I was trying to say or taking the hint that I do not want to help you and I am also the NEW girl and it isn't appropriate or a good idea for me to be training you or teaching you about the job AT ALL.
I didn't respond to this email and I knew she wouldn't let it go. She came to my desk later and said, "Did you get my email?" I just laughed in a fake way and said, "yes" and she looked at me awkwardly and returned more fake laughter and walked away. Since then she hasn't asked me for help and I am very glad. I do not like this person. I think she is rude, pushy, impatient and quite stupid.
She also said a whole bunch of stupid crap about how she has had many books published and it wouldn't be hard to get my children's book published. She is crazy! She is always talking "religious" things and it is extremely inappropriate to do that in a government office. She has a crazy blog and she has written some crazy books. I do not like it when people are overly, overtly religious and talk about Jesus every second of the day. I love God and have a deeply personal faith that I do not wish to discuss or share AT WORK. This has been an issue that I have been dealing with for years, I don't know why government office seem to have a huge number of religious zealots but that is where you can find them. At my first government job there was full on HAND HOLDING PRAYING going on. Wildly inappropriate and just plain wrong and disrespectful to our fellow co-workers who weren't Christian. It was shocking and horrendous and I am so glad I got out of there. But it seems to follow me unfortunately.
I hope that I can continue to work with this individual and be respectful and not show how much I dislike her!
These are the two drawings I have up in my cubicle