Monday, December 6, 2010

Holidays are....

There was a song that my sister turned me onto in the 90s called, "Holidays are HELL" it was a pretty good rock out song. The holidays can be filled with time spent with family and friends, magical moments and fun opening presents, eating yummy treats while sipping on hot chocolate. But they can also be filled with stress, anxiety, irritation and pure madness!!! Some people at an old job referred to me as a "Scrooge" or a "Grinch" because that year I didn't want a co-worker to constantly hit a toy she had that played Jingle Bells, or the fact that that year I didn't want to put up a Christmas tree. You don't have to have a tree every year!! Ok, well I don't consider myself a Scrooge or a Grinch or a hater of holidays or Christmas. But I will use this post to vent about all the annoying and crazy events that have happened so far. I will also take this opportunity to say, that I do get very annoyed by the Christmas music in the grocery store and every where you go. Last night we went out with my husband's parents for a Chanukah dinner and the Christmas music at the restaurant got stuck like a record skipping. Yeah, talk about one of the most irritating things to happen at any point and then for it to be the freaking Christmas music! AHHHH! A local radio station, 101.9, plays Christmas music non-stop from the Thanksgiving to New Years. TOO MUCH, yes, I think so!
Ok so this past weekend we had a plan to go get the Christmas tree. My husband is Jewish and I was raised Catholic. My husband actually always celebrated both Jewish and Christian holidays pretty much his whole life. So now we have tried to take on that overwhelming task of celebrating IT ALL!!! This becomes pretty crazy and it seems like its always one holiday coming or going or another. Whew!
Last year we didn't have a tree last year or the year before because we were living in the condo with three flights of steps and not much space. So now that we are in the townhouse I wanted to get a small tree. So on a VERY BITTER COLD Saturday we get in the car and pick out our tree and load it in the trunk and go home. We had a birthday party to go (which was awesome and lots of fun - thanks Paul!!) so we left it out on the deck. Yesterday, Joe and I struggled to put this bad boy up. There were numerous shouts of "OUCH" as the tree needles stuck us in numerous places. We tried to get it upright in the stand, it was crooked. We tried to fix it, more getting stuck , Joe crawling around on the floor furiously screwing and unscrewing and rescrewing the stupid pins in and out again. So now is it ok? Nope. Still crooked. Repeat previous process! So finally we got it as straight as we thought we could. Joe begins the first of many vacuum trips to get up all the needles. Then I was upstairs and I feel like I stepped in gum and I am sticking to the carpet, I look on the bottom of my sock and I grab a huge, sticky sap ball off of the bottom! Now I have a sap ball and sticky sap all over my fingers. this very moment, I hear the distinct clicking noise of something hitting the wall behind the bedroom door. I am so used to this sound I know it can only be one thing...A freaking stink bug. Really stink bugs!? Really?! (from SNL) its 30 degrees outside and that is the high for the day! Haven't you all crawled off somewhere under ground so you can plague us again in the Spring?!! So I go to the bathroom and as many of you know you can't get sap off of your hands by washing it off. Nice. So I have to go downstairs smear some peanut butter all over those fingers and then wipe all of that off. Now I am in a panic that we desperately need a tree skirt (which of course we don't have) so that there won't be more sap balls all over the carpet. We had to use sheets. All of this insanity has led me to the conclusion that we are going the route of the artificial tree and we aren't looking back! If you think about it, it really is quite a bizzare tradition you take a live tree cut it down out of nature and put it inside to wreak havoc on your house. This is why I love the movie, "A Christmas Story" because it really shows the true to life craziness of it all and makes you laugh at all this STUFF we call Christmas. I am off now to do some ONLINE shopping. I also dread going any where near a store or mall of any kind in the entire month of December. I will have to do a little more next weekend, but I will be speedy Gonzalez in and out of there! I was in Target a few weeks ago trying to pick out my Christmas cards (pretty early to avoid the crazies) and I was bending down checking them out and a man dropped a box of lights on my back! As you can imagine I was fuming!! WTF people and stink bugs!! You are making me insane!! Happy Holidays every one!!


  1. i'm often called scrooge around here. i love christmas, but if stress is added to my life, due to decorations and shopping & messes & extra baking, etc, it's hard to maintain a smiley face. my husband doesn't see it from the extra work end because he doesn't have to do it most of the time.

  2. I took my tree down after 2 weeks one year. I had a lot of time to use or lose at the end of the year and was home a great deal. I had enough looking at it all. But at least when I got back from the family after Christmas I didn't have to worry with it.

  3. I know its supposed to be a joyful time. In our crazy country it can get out of hand. So I have learned over the years to keep it simple and now I have added another thing to make it even easier - an artificial tree from now on! Thanks for reading Ladies! Have a very lovely holiday (and stress and hassle free!)