WARNING: This post is about flatulence, farts, gas, poots or toots. If you are grossed out by that topic and don't find it silly and fun like me then you might want to skip this post.
So what do you do in that situation if you need to rip a good one? Well you squeeze those butt cheeks and hold that sucker in! I care about my fellow man and I don't want him or her to have to hold their breath while taking the long trip to their floor. Its bad enough that I get on and am emersed into a cloud of cologne or cheap perfume or the worst, cigarette stench. And I will again state that I used to be a smoker but when you quit you then transform back into the "rest of the non-smoking world" who is repulsed and highly irritated by second hand smoke stink. Ok, Ok back to the gas!
So there I was a few weeks ago, I had some chili and that night and the next day at work I payed the price!While at work, I had been holding in many machine-gun style poots all day. I tried not to "crop dust" and let them out all over the office as I ran to the bathroom. Some slipped out, others stayed in the tightly squeezed cheeks. At the end of the day, I was tired of all gaseous explosions. I made my way to the elevators and down to my level of the parking gargage. I work on the 8th floor and I park on the lowest level of the garage that is under the building (what I refer to as the dungeon) so add 4 more stops to get to my final destination and when I had almost reached the bottom I decided that I coudn't hold it in any longer. It was the end of the day and no one was ever down there getting ON the elevator so I let it RIP and RIP it did. It was a long and winding fart, complete with an array of noises. PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTHHHH!! AHHH! Relief! Then.....
The door opened and there was this little man pushing his way past me to get on the elevator. I looked up at him wide eyed and in shock and horror. The ONE DAY that I decide to let my anus have its way in the elevator and you have to be there, little man, don't you? So I ran off in the direction of my car laughing hysterically (after the door closed, of course) I hope it didn't smell too bad!! Murphy's law at work again in my life, I guess the moral is don't let a fart seep out even when you think its safe!!