Thursday, February 6, 2014

Lose Something Important? Like Your Mind?

So this is a little post about the sheer insanity one experiences when you lose something important. Like when you are already late for work or an appointment and you can't find your car keys. That is one kind of crazy, but then there is the kind of losing something that makes you feel like you have really lost your damn mind. Recently, I took my dental night guard with me back to the dentist to have them make sure it was ok, the appointment was quick and then I went home. I put it in my purse and when I got home that night, I went to the bathroom and opened the case and it was GONE. Disappered. Sucked into an alternate dimension. Then I proceeded to freak out. That was back in January. The guard cost me $250. The next few weeks, my husband and I turned the house upside down and inside out trying to find out. I do have a 2 year old and there is a chance she opened the case and "hid" it somewhere. But I literally (Chris parks and rec) went through EVERY DAMN drawer, crack, crevice, cupboard, toy box, closet or other container type thing in my home. I searched the car, pulling out old McDonald french fries. So it is gone. Still gone. My wonderfual and amazing dentist said that she would make me a new one and not charge me or my insurance which was so gracious, kind and I am trying to pay it forward everyday in any way I can especially in participating in 28 days of kindness. (see previous post) I have also recently lost a glove. I got a new pair of nice isotoner gloves for myself at Christmas time. So in my daily travels I have lost just one. I ordered another pair but they were one size fits all, which for me means too small. I have freakishly long fingers. Not man hands, I have fairly small feminine hands with frog-like, octopus tentacles jutting out of them. So now I have the one still that fits, one glove....that sucks. Its like all the half pair of socks that are lost. The most frustrating part is that this would make sense if I was a careless person, who loses things all the time. I am not one of those people. I am constantly checking for this and for that, do I have my work badge, my cell phone. I have to be responsible and accountable for little things.  So it makes me want to pull all of my hair out and scream to the heavens above when something just disappears from my life. Completely vanishes. It is simply unacceptable.

The other major losses that my husband and I have suffered are those little, slippery suckers known as the Ipod Nanos. I think the high powered executives sat around their board room tables and up on the white board it said, MUST BE SMALLER, AND SLIPPRIER AND EASIER TO LOSE!! This  they knew would be a never-ending money machine because of course we are going to go right out and buy another Ipod because we have already spent a fortune building our Itunes library and we want that music to travel with us, therefore shelling out more and more money to replace all tiny, shiny, slippery ipods sucked into the same alternate dimension. BIG SIGH.


Saturday, February 1, 2014

I'm Bringing Funny back!

I am like Justin Timberlake...ok not really at all but I'm Bringing FUNNY back.... I hope you've missed my funny stories about my crazy life. I want to talk a little bit today about the snow. We are lucky hear in Maryland, we normally don't get too much. But its the salt on the roads and the never ending pot holes that are annoying the crap out of me lately. One road I drive on is so riddled with  potholes, I look like I am driving on an obstacle course trying to avoid them. And that is just the ones I can avoid, there are 20 more I hit on the way. So frustrating! Then while I am driving the other morning there was so much salt on my windshield, I had to use my windshield wiper fluid to combat it, of course. Well it was soooo cold (only about 5 freaking degrees) that when I go to use the fluid it freezes on the windshield!! Now I can't see cause of the salt AND all the ice! Help!! Another little tricky addition has been the blinding sunlight. The sun has been so blinding that people are freaking out and drifting into oncoming traffic. The oncoming traffic happened to be this little lady right here!

So I knew that for the month of February, 28 days of kindness would be approching so I was holding the door for people at work but then they would get closer and closer and be like nope going this way! And I am like OH! Ok! So silly, then an attempted act of kindness becomes an embarrassing and awkward weird situation. So funny.

So I usually have these idealistic thoughts about going out with my daughter and having these perfect times with us running and laughing like fools having so much fun. The other day, I took her out to go for a short walk and all she wanted to do was stomp around in the little bit of snow we had left. So then we went back inside and got her snow boots on, then I had the brilliant idea that we should get the soccer ball I got her for Christmas and take it to the field to kick around. So we went and as soon as we got there we were submerged in a field of nothing but mud and goose poop. Yeah, that is what I said. Geese love to congregate over at the school we live next to in the field. I am not sure why they love it so much but that is their hangout, its where they have family gatherings and important business meetings. When I say goose poop every where I mean EVERY Where!! But the great part is that my girl is definitely going to be a soccer star. She can dribble that ball so well, its amazing. Future Mia Hamm, Hope Solo??

Friday, January 31, 2014


Hey lovies! I haven't written in so long! I have missed this outlet, but i needed to take a step back and regroup. I hope I can provide some funny stories of the adventures I have had. So to catch you up to speed, my beautiful and sweet daughter is now 2 years old! I can't believe it. She is so smart and kind and very funny. She constantly tries to make her father and I laugh. Here is a recent photo of her in the snow in her new snowsuit.

Hope everyone has been well. I am trying to make it through the last few weeks of winter. I wish I could press fast forward to Spring. Wouldn't that be great?